image source: USDEA
0 to 7 Stages of Crack Cocaine Use and Withdrawal Pattern
0) Currently using: Auditory hallucinations, hypertensive, hyper vigilant. During usage a person may think they hear sirens, cars pulling up outside, music, people talking, etc. Some people will experience tactile hallucinations such as skin crawling or seeing bugs on their skin. They will be extremely alert to the point of paranoia — perhaps suspicious of any movement around the area where they are using. It is common to hide out in the area where use is occurring and refuse to answer the door.
1) Panic stage: 1-3 hours after last use. During this phase money for more is the prime concern. In this phase a person may look for something around their house to sell or pawn or may consider where they may beg, borrow or steal something to sell for cocaine. Looking for lint on the rug hoping something has fallen is common at this point. In this acute withdrawal period, people have been known to try to rob crowded public places (mall stores, convenience stores, fast food restaurants) to obtain goods to sell or money for more crack. The withdrawal is so intense and craving so high that the person has little ability to think or reason logically.
2) Crash Stage: 3-24 hours after last use. Depression; remorse (suicidal); brain is in desperate need of rest but the chemicals (serotonin) necessary for sleep have been depleted and it is difficult, at first, to sleep. In this phase one wonders why they spent all their paycheck, used funds that did not belong to them, pawned valuable household items for less than actual value, stole from persons they truly care about, etc. Often, under the influence of cocaine-induced depression, one makes promises to never do it again in this phase and believes it. Highest risk for suicide is during this period.
3) Honeymoon Stage: 1-5 days after last use. Characterized by feeling very good. The craving is not noticeable or is easily manageable during this phase. The drug effects seem to be wearing off and one is starting to regain confidence in their ability to handle the addiction. During this phase it is common to hear a person say, “I don’t even think about it, I’m not going to have any problem with it. I do not even want it anymore.” A delusive way of thinking that ignores their past cycles and paves the way for the next binge. The chemical messengers of the brain (serotonin/dopamine) necessary to enjoy crack are still depleted and behind this lack of interest in crack. This is a dangerous stage as it is easy to think there is not a problem and therefore, why worry about it? People let down their guard during this phase and commonly use defense mechanisms, e.g., rationalizing and minimizing, to convince themselves this time they are cured and so have no need of further support or treatment. There is a high risk for people in treatment to leave during this phase as they no longer feel, or are aware of, the physical and emotional affects of the original crisis.
4) Return of Craving: 5-14 days after last use. Tremendous upsurge of acute drug hunger, depression, anger. The body has produced enough serotonin/dopamine for the person to want to use more cocaine but not enough to affect stability of mood and emotions. During this phase one may experience vivid dreams, fantasies, and acute drug hunger. Thoughts may cycle around using until a person feels like giving in to the obsession to use. Defense mechanisms (rationalization, intellectualization, denial, minimizing) begin to make a strong comeback after being knocked down by the original crisis.
5) Emotional Augmentation: 14-28 days start – up to 1-2 years. Over-response to the normal stress and events of everyday life. At the top of the mood swing one is unusually happy and at the bottom one is unusually sad. The state of making mountains out of molehills. This is related to biochemical responses induced by strong emotions that stimulate areas where mood and mind altering drugs act on the brain. The body is now seriously undertaking the repairs of areas damaged by drug use and is replacing important chemicals needed to regulate mood and emotions. As a result, one is slightly off balance chemically without being consciously aware of it. There there is a strong need for accurate feedback on one’s behavior from an objective support group. (Recommend AA or NA or another type recovery support group.) This cannot be stressed too highly for long term success in recovery. Also, low impact exercise – walking, jogging, bicycling, low impact aerobics – and a well-balanced diet will shorten this phase and reduce the severity of the symptoms. Irritability, depression, anxiety, mood swings, memory loss, difficulty concentrating, short attention span, nightmares, insomnia, fatigue, and headaches are some of the normal recovery symptoms of the emotional augmentation stage.
6) Covert Cravings: 28-35 days. Secrets and bad judgments characterize this phase. Craving is not as strong on a regular basis but one may have periodic strong cravings and not want to admit it for various reasons. Thinking it is a sign of weakness, poor moral character, that they are not working a good program, that they simply should not be having cravings. Generally, the cravings are of a low level, e.g. euphoric recall (glorifying war stories), vivid dreams that trigger cravings upon awakening, or just general mild drug hunger. Without someone to talk with concerning these normal protracted withdrawal symptoms, they can evolve into high level cravings, e.g. acute drug hunger, drug seeking behavior, obsession and on to compulsion. Again the need for a support system is strongly recommended.
7) Cue Conditioning: 35 days upward. Cue conditioning – referred to as triggers – could be money, anger, disappointment, music, a film, or extreme joy. Anything strongly associated with using could cue/trigger a craving. The strength of these cue cravings will diminish in time but continue on for years although becoming few and far between. They can catch a person off guard and evolve into higher level cravings. Again, a long term support plan for sobriety AA/NA or recovery support group is recommended to alleviate these natural manifestations.
It is a normal part of recovery to have strong cravings due to acute withdrawal 3-7 days and then continued cravings at a lower level well into protracted withdrawal 6 months-2 years. Time and severity of protracted withdrawal depend upon type, amount, and frequency of drug used. Again, a program of good nutrition and low impact exercise can alleviate these normal recovery symptoms.
Please note that behavioral symptoms: compulsion, obsession, loss of control over time, place, amount used and continued use despite adverse consequences are secondary symptoms of the disease process. With continued treatment of the disease with abstinence and a good support system, these behavioral symptoms will diminish to normal discussions over time.
The above information was provided to a friend of a friend of mine in 2000 while he was in detox for crack cocaine addiction, and she recently emailed me a copy when she learned I was going to write about crack and homelessness. Thanks, friend. 
>> See also, “What You Need To Hear About Crack Cocaine”
This may help — from the Nar-Anon web site:
Cole, I totally understand you. I am too the point that the tough love treatment is going to have to take into effective in my situation. I had a break down not so long ago feeling like I was fighting an addiction that I do not have. I sometimes feel like its going well and things are straight but then I am hit with a surprise of I will see you when my money is all burned up and have anything else. I am sick and tired of this… It is not your fault and I had to learn the same thing it is not my fault. We are the victims of the mental abuse. Stay strong and love is very powerful keep your guard up.
-Strength.
I will keep you guys posted any type of support is helpful and aspiring.
I am a user who has been clean for two months. I only started using about a year ago. I binged hard for several months and then it cut back to where I was only using every couple of weeks. I was very tempted recently to pick up something to smoke so I tried calling my dealer. There was no answer all day. At the end of the day I found out that he was murdered the night before. A friend who wanted crack from him flew into a rage when he wouldn’t give it and cut his throat.
The scariest part of this for me is that I had both of those people staying in my home together not long ago so I could get crack for free.
I guess in one way I am lucky in that he was the only person I knew who does this. He was my only source and no one in life even knew I was doing it but him so I have been forced to quit, despite my cravings. I came across this site while looking at news articles in my local paper. I was hunting for a name that could lead to a contact. Everything in it is describing what I am going through.I am just not sure what to do with the cravings. I can’t keep food down, I am depressed all the time. I even went out trolling the streets asking people randomly if they knew where I could get crack (I live in a neighbourhood where that is almost acceptable).
Please pray for me. I want to stay clean and go back to work and repair the damage that I have done to my life but I have no one I can talk to.
I am a 45 year old man who was using crack for almost 2 years. I am still an addict, but have had some clean time. Because of my choices with this drug, I lost my partner, my home, my car, my job, my entire life savings and my family of origin. I have three friends left in this world. Two of them accept me for who I am and support my recovery. I am sleeping on the couch of one of them because I have nowhere to live otherwise. I am looking for work right now. The information at the top, the seven stages I have forwarded to the one other friend I have left in this world and he is still struggling with the drug. I am in Toronto, he thankfully made it back to Vancouver to his family and he was clean for 28 days. He as used crack for 8 years, and he is only 20. Those 28 days are the longest he has been clean (outside of jail) for 8 years. He had a relapse last night and that sent me in a spin. I did not use thankfully, but turned to my old drug…. food. Not as destructive initially, but just as addictive. I really feel like I am just going through the motions right now, and I appreciate just being able to read what everyone here has written. the last comment from Princess completely mirrors all of my experience.
I have sent this info to my friend and I am going to reread it again and again.
All I can say is: keep talking
I was trouble shooting with my friend on the phone. I spoke with him just after he picked up and he said he couldn’t go back to his family until he finished using because he was too embarrassed. I relate to that.
I am so embarrassed that I cannot control myself, it makes me feel weak and stupid. BUT, I have to remember that it is the drug that quickly takes charge, that is not me. I need to continue to focus on everytime that I do NOT use. Everyday that I choose not to, is so much more important than the other times. AND because I know how strong this drug is, I know that I can be PROUD every second that I do not choose and know it is my strength of character, my care for myself and my choice to take care of myself that keeps me from doing. That is nothing to be embarrassed about. I have been clean since October 23, 2008, and before that I was clean since August 27. I will rejoice in those times clean and be proud of myself every day that I choose recovery.
For those who have partners going through this. DO NOT feel guilty. You have to take care of yourself first. You cannot save anyone who is addicted to this drug. They can only save themselves with the right choices working the right tools. The tools require looking at the root of why I started using in the first place and dealing with that first.
God luck and god bless to each of you
Hi everyone. I have been with a crack addict for a little over 6 years now. I have literally gone through hell and back for this person. Iam 45yrs old & he just turned 36 this past November. He has been through it all for this drug, jail, getting beat up and ending up in the hospital, you name it. I have hung in there through it all. He even went to shock incarceration programs as an alternative to jail, as soon as he got out he would use again! Dear God-it NEVER ends! I have looked in to all sorts of ways to help this guy but because I am not well off my options are limited. I know that there are free programs too but either he ends up leaving or they sneak drugs in these places and before you know it he’s using in there too! He swears up and down that it’s over when he’s in jail but as soon as he gets released he gets right back on it! He just recently got released after doing a 6 month bid (Nov 24) and he ran right for it. He thinks that if he uses just a little he will be OK and that he can control it and knows what he’s doing. It’s all a bunch of bull, I don’t know who he’s trying to convince because it sure isn’t me. By his own admition his habit was in the 200.00 a day range! I also have thrown him out numerous times but have taken him back. As a matter of fact, I just threw him out this past Sunday because of his secrets and lies. Everything is lies with these people and it’s extremely hard not to take it personal. A few years back when he was on parole I found out from his parole officer that according to his paper work he was bipolar. I went to the courts and asked for a mental hygiene warrant to force him in to rehab, I got it. It was useless. All they did was pick him up and held him in the hospital for 72 hours. Once they saw that he wasn’t suicidal they released him! 3 days later he was picked up for a parole violation which he spent the remaining time he had left in jail. He spent 8 months. Once he got released after sending me daily letters swearing how he’s done with drugs, blah, blah, blah, u guessed it-back to drugs again! Every time it sounds like he means it but he always ends up returning to his old ways. I truly have NO idea how to help this man. I could honestly say that I have tried everything. Please pray for me and him. God bless all.
Hi Everyone,
I have been in a love relationship since January, 2002 with a man who is addicted to crack cocaine and angel dust. After spending lots of money on apartments, and numerous items, shoes, TVs, DVDs, leather coats, etc. and dealing with his outbursts of anger and mental breakdowns, hospital stays in psychiatric wards,court and jails, I’ve had enough. He actually left me stating that his sobriety is his priority. By the way I’ve never used illicit drugs or been addicted to a drug. The last time we spoke was August 18, 2008. I am a professional with a good life. I am finally happy and have learned to appreciate love in the many ways that it shows up, i.e my cats welcoming me home. I want to encourage all of you not to give up. To the drug addict in recovery, don’t give up. The power of God in you is stronger than your craving for the drug. However, you must be tough and love yourself enough to know that you deserve better. The temporary high of drug use is not worth losing everything good in your life. To those of us who love the addict, don’t blame yourself. It’s not our fault. I do not embrace the label enabler or co-dependent. I did everything out of the love I have for the man I love and I have no regrets. I wish him the best. I know I did my best and after many disappointments and good times too, I have finally moved on. I enjoy the peace of mind I now have. I no longer wait for the other shoe to drop. Life is good for me. There is life after drugs. God Bless and never give up on love and life. Peace and blessings, Darlene
Hi everyone,
P.S. My boyfriend has been in an out of rehab facilities since I’ve known him. I didn’t know he was an addict when I first met him. He was working two jobs and in a treatment program at the time back in January, 2002. I did not know he was in a drug rehab facility when we met. I had never experienced this kind of thing in my life until I met this person. Anyway, he was arrested twice this past summer. Law enforcement released him the next day both times. I don’t believe he is in sobriety. He knew that he couldn’t be with me and still do drugs. He also knew that I was fed up with our money relationship. Thanks for reading this. I wrote before, but I wanted you to know that he is 46 years of age and has been using drugs since he was a teenager. He has always been unstable and suffers from true mental illness. He does not stay on a job more than four months on average. It’s a sad story. I decided to accept the truth about our relationship that it appeared to be more about financing his habit than celebrating our love together. He’s a great guy when he’s not using. Unfortunately, by his own admission, he is weak for the drug. Again, take care everyone and fight for your life. Kind regards, Darlene
I just wrote a new post, for a friend who’s fighting crack and alcohol addiction. It may help someone who’s commenting here.
Here’s the link: http://chosenfast.com/2008/12/04/its-not-over-yet/
Hi, I’m Danielle and I currently have two aunts that are in their addiction to this day. One is aged 45 and the other 40. The oldest introduced her own sister to it when they were younger. One of them has lost her house, car , family, and mind and is so in denial about that. The other one hasn’t had a job in 20 years and loves jail. I’m at my breaking point with them and tend to throw things back in their face knowing they have no defense. Its really hard to watch them day by day knowing What their doing and how it is affecting them. WE all currently live together in my grandmothers home. They are constantly disappearing 2-3 days at a time whenever they feel like it while my grandmother acts as if nothing is wrong. I’m tired of her watching and dealing with all of this. In secret she cries because she is so confused and hurt by this. Her youngest child,(my aunt), is her pride and joy and it kills both of my aunts. I’m just waiting for them to grow up and change, but they’re 30 years too late in my opinion. Is crack really worth it?! is it worth being homeless? Is it worth prostituting your body? Is it worth losing your family? Health? Friends? EVERYTHING??!!! IT IS SO SAD WATCHING THIS EVERY DAY!! WASTED LIVES!!!!! IT DOESN’T TAKE THE PAIN AWAY
I write to tell you that there is hope. I have been clean for 10 years by God’s grace. When I reflect on my previous life it is almost like I was a different person. I can tell you if God hadn’t intervened in my life I would be dead either from an overdose or suicide.
I’ve not been on the site for awhile but decided to check it tonight. It’s so familiar what everyone says. Phoenix, so glad to hear a glimmer of hope for you and your family.
When last I wrote, my ex-boyfriend was arrested and, yes, he’s still in county jail. He racked up so many different charges, he will probably do some time in prison once all his cases are resolved. I have heard from him through letters almost every day up until a couple of months ago. I do not write back. I receive a letter or two here and there now. Being more clear-minded, after almost five months in jail, he sees how his life became out of control.
However, I believe he is only “clean” because he can’t get to it right now. At least not in the volume he was used to. Yes, he’s sorry, says he will never do this again and begs for my forgiveness..but the hurt is too deep this time. I fear this year and half will turn into five years, ten years, money down the drain, police, jail, injury to me. I can’t!
I do hope that he stays clean but it will have to be with someone else. Someone who never knew what he could become. I have too many fears and trust issues.
He calls me his best friend…the only one who tried to help him stay clean…the only one who loved him…the only one who wanted a good life for him. But I was also a target of his abuse. He stole money, jewelry, vehicles from me, took advantage of me in so many other ways. I don’t know how many times we had to go to the pawn shop to get stuff out!!! Money down the drain…over and over again. I spent holidays, birthdays, and other special occasions, alone, usually crying all night.
I deserve better. Now that I’ve been away from it and it’s not been a day to day drama with him, I’ve healed so much. I’m at peace and starting to feel happy again. I can’t risk my health and safety for him ever again. It’s sad. Because like so many others, I, too, was able to be in the presence of him before this got so bad. A good, loving boyfriend who would have hung the moon for me if I asked him to. But the one thing he couldn’t do was get off crack. It got deep into his soul where nobody could reach.
This is a hard season. More drug use happens during the holidays. Everyone, stay strong!
Hi everyone. I have a situation. I recently (as in 3 weeks ago) became involved with a man named Shaun. He is not the user, his ex-wife is. She walked out on him and their 2 children almost a year ago. No contact what so ever. When she left, their youngest was only a month old and in the hospital tryin to fight this addiction that she gave her baby. Shaun had to deal with everything. He finally got a divorce in June 2008 through the newspaper. She had a certain amount of time to respond to the add and she didnt. He has full custody of the kids because she was no where to be found. Well, on Tuesday (4 days ago) she called him to say she was checking herself into rehab (this is the 2nd time). And now he is confused who he should be with. He says that he loves me and loves “us” but he misses his ex-wife and the family he used to have. I understand that u can’t help who you love and you can’t help your feelings when they are triggered. But does anyone know where that leaves me? He does not expect me to wait for him to decide. He was a complete gentleman in telling me how he feels..but what do I do from here? Should I wait and hope he chooses me? And if he does…will he only want me? I dont know what to do. Im crushed.
Hi again everyone. This comment is in response to Renee (comment #61). Renee, I have walked in your shoes. My boyfriend has been in & out of jail too because of his drug abuse for the past 6 years, each time swearing & crying that this is the last time & that he will never ever do crack again because he sees where he ends up & that he can’t stand the thought of loosing me, etc., etc. He came out this past November 24th and ran straight to get high. I was shocked because in the past he would have waited at least a couple of days before going straight for it. You should have heard this guys pleas. EVERY single day when he would call me and EVERY letter he wrote he was swearing up & down how he was done with the drug “no matter what” because nothing was worth loosing me. Well guess what? As of yesterday he’s been on another binge and barely showed his face around here. These guys are master manipulators in more ways than anyone can ever imagine. I do believe that yes, everyone is an individual and we all have different breaking points but on the whole most of the stories here are the same. Renee, speaking from experience these guys do not change. I am not trying to sound negative but like I said speaking from my own personal experience, it never changes. I do believe that they mean what they say when they are in jail because their mind is clear and they understand the pain and chaos they have caused but as you yourself know, the minute they have the chance to use again that is exactly what they do. Everything seems to be a trigger for them. I myself have trust issues with this guy too and believe me that is not the way I want to live. I was forced to buy a safe to keep my jewelry and valuables in. I was married to my son’s dad for 11 years and not once did I ever have to go through his pants pockets or through his cell phone entries to find out out he was keeping from me this time. Unfortunately if we choose to be with people like this this is what we have to go through among other things. I too, was a happy person when he was locked up for 6 months. I was finally able to sleep peacefully at nights and didn’t have to worry about him ending up dead in the streets. If you do decide to be with him Renee, maybe you could date him and see where it goes from there. One of the worst things that we do is that we move these guys in and the drama starts all over again. I totally understand the feelings that you are going through because I have had the same things happen in my situation. It’s hard but I do believe unless you are willing to do something really drastic like move some place where it’s far and away from any type of drug activity, these guys will just keep on using. Some people can and will stop but most don’t. It’s so sad because I have never had to deal with anyone like this in my life before. Everything they say sounds so convincing and I do believe it’d because part of them really feels that way but once the drug gets in their head, all bets are off. I wish everyone the best and I will pray for us all.
God bless,
Angela
I’m just looking for solace, My husband stole my mothers car on Monday morning 2am or so and hasn’t returned it is now Wednesday afternoon. And amazingly the police were logical and kind, they were informed he was on probation for I don’t know how many crack related crimes, so they convinced her not to report it stolen with the hopes he would return on his own. I’ve been dealing with this for 5 years, it will never stop. He has been smoking crack for 15 years, I know he does not want to be a crack head but something clicks and he can’t control his actions, he looses his mind. His brain is fried to the point that he does not get it, I tell him “what is going to happen the next time your relapse” and he always says “I’m not going to relapse”. He is going to prison for a very long time when they catch him………… I’m sad that I won’t see him ever again and that makes me so want to vomit. I love him, he loves his son and daughter and me I know that when he is sober. But crack wins every time. He knows one more contact with the law would mean many years in prison yet that urge to get high on crack told him to steal the car, steal a 100 bucks, smoke some crack and come home……. But he can’t stop, he’ll never be able stop and turn around to save his life. I’m sad that I lost my husband and the father of my babies… I hate that crap, and I hate ever SOB who sells it. They ruined my family and I hope if there is a hell they all burn in it!
OY!
There are days when I feel as if I’m going to lose hope altogether, and then I remember…
Crack is an evil, life-destroying drug. It’s a tool in the hands of the enemy of our souls. But it isn’t stronger or more powerful than the God of the universe. God makes a way where there’s no way. He doesn’t promise to always take us out, but He does promise to always take us through…
i smoked crack to get off meth…when we would crash on heroin or crystal we would smoke crack..long story short is i quit meth and smoking off the foil and smoking just rock..i couldnt beleive i was a crackhead when it really hit me one day standing in front of my mirror..i went from 230 pounds with 9% body fat to 190 and way out of shape in 3yrs..after another 3 yrs i finally ended up with a lung inflamatory from the hot smoke from crack pipe..it burned the lung lining and the tissue went hard and not flexable..i ended up getting away from evreyone for 5 weeks and got off..all i could do is cough and cough all the time..if you yawn alot smoking crack its the first sighn of it..after that i moved away from that area and never went back..cutt all ties with freinds who smoked and pissed off my dealers with nazi talk lol.picked fights and even ripped one off..made it so they all hated me..you can get off too..its been 9yrs now for me and i still yawn all the fawking time and have a grunt sound in my throat somtimes..i tell people who ask i was in a propaine fire..tell them i breathed in the hot fumes after explosion..if you want to get off crack wich is way easier than meth or heroin then just get away..get away from all of it and stay away..it takes less than a week to be able to deal with it..no shaking and puking or shitting your pants like meth and heroin..if you want to get off stop crying and get away from it for a week..get thrown in jail for a month..a mister meaner record is better than death..if i can do it you can do it..email me if you want tips on how to flush yer body fast and what foods will help
Just wanted to reply to Jessica on her first post. Since you’ve only invested a few weeks into this relationship, I would suggest you back away and let your “new” boyfriend decide what he wants to do. As much as it might hurt you, you need to tell him to stay away from you until he decides. This is probably a “manipulative” tactic on the part of his ex to win him back. I’m sure her life went down the tubes for him to succeed in divorcing her and getting custody. By staying involved with your boyfriend at this point, while he’s trying to stay in contact with his ex, will only take you into that roller-coaster, too. You will be hurt and confused and upset. And if she makes it through rehab and stays clean, sounds like your boyfriend would want her back, which would leave you where? Before you get too deep in your feelings for him, you should back off…way off. Time will tell.
I found this website while looking for some answers to questions I have about crack cocain addiction. Been reading the page for about 2 hours now and am very moved by much of what I’ve read. I’ll be back, maybe with more comments and prayers for many of you, My questions concern my brother who I learned was using crack cocain last summer. He admittied it and said he was going to stop. I live in Norway and therefore can not really know how it’s going with him. I saw him this Christmas and he said he’s stopped. How do I know? If I get a look at his bank book, maybe I can tell? but how much does a crack cocain addiction cost? He has a steady fulltime job.
I lost a very dear friend to Crack…. I miss her so much and her sister too! When I read the post from KM I had to wonder if it is her! KM if your in Ga and you know a LS who was a really close friend 6 or 7 years ago then you know me! Girl I miss you and your sister very much and I wish I could have stopped what was happening to you back then.
I do pray now that your doing better, I still have the same cell number.
I oray for you still and I miss my Best friend!
How many times does someone have to use cocaine to get addicted? My boyfriend says he’s done it once or twice recently and I’m getting really worried. If someone could tell me the early signs I’d greatly appriciate it.
This whole article is true!! My b/f and I have been clean for 5 mths, and it’s still a struggle, but we will never go back down that road!!!!
Early signs….well we all hid it pretty good, I know that’s not comforting but, Everyone is different, I used cocaine many times before I “thought” I was addicted. But not being able to get through a weekend with out it..Or not being able to just drink alcohol, are big signs. It got to the point with my friends and I if we couldn’t find it we wouldn’t do anything. Our main problem was when we moved from Cocaine to Crack…I WOULD ADVISE EVREYONE NOT TO GO DOWN THAT ROAD!! You think you have it under control, and then before you know it your selling your children’s X box 360′s to pay off dealers..Not a good feeling.Belevie Me
Well… I thought i would write and maybe get some feedback (I Hope)I met my husband when i was 19, he had been clean from crack for about 2 months – he was also a drug dealer, he got saved radically and both our lives took a 180 degree turn, we were somewhat happy, we got married, moved in together and started our lives as one flesh… We have been married 4,5 years – no children, i had first realised that i was being emotionally abused in 2006, we got married in 2004. He would yell and shout and throw things around the house, let me not forget to add that we were on leadership at the church – nobody relly knew this side of him and i kept it really well hidden and turned it into a joke, well the abuse got worse, he had started consuming alcohol again – we stepped down off leadership at this stage, i was very frustrated in my marriage and just wanted out – this was not the man he portrayed himself to be! He would get so angry he would swear at me call me names tell me to go find a new husband because he did not love me. He said this in his anger and that is how he justified his ‘sorry’s’. In October we had a huge fight were he once again told me to f-off, so i did, i went to stay at a friends, when i got home the next day i had found that he had drawn money – more than he said he had, he confessed that he had smoked crack – i was crushed to say the least! I told him that if he does it again i will leave because i have seen what this drug does to people and everyone around them. In January everything was going fine – so i thought. I went to Joburg for my cousins funeral, when i phoned him the first morning i was away – he had said he had done it again. I did not know what to do – i could not go back to that emotional abuse and deal with fighting that drug, i had enough scars already. I moved back home with my parents and that is were i am still. We suppose to be on our way to reconciliation but he is making it very difficult for me – giving me ultimations and time limits. I wasnt to go for councilling before i go home to set some groud rules. We have a very strong support system in out church – they are aware of it because most of them are our close friends too. I am faced with a decision of should i stay or go, we have no children, i am financially independant and dont feel i love him enough to go through the abuse and drug abuse. But i also know God hates divorce. I have been praying for God to give me guidance. The way i see it he broke our marriage vows the first time he smoked that crack-pipe. I have been begging him to go for marriage councilling for the last 8 months – he refused, he also refuses to go to rehab. I dont want to have children and end up with a depressed CH for the rest of my life. Life is precious to me, i cant spend my life trying to hold him up?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
maybe: many people with addiction disorders also have mental illness. has your husband been diagnosed, and if not, has he had a mental health evaluation? if he has a mental illness or a personality disorder and it is not treated, it will be difficult, if not impossible, for him to maintain recovery.
you can’t make an addict get clean. he has to want it and be committed to recovery. if he is mentally ill, he has to be willing to receive treatment for that, as well. you can pray for him and support him if and when he is ready for recovery. until he is, you need to take care of yourself. get counseling to help you deal with where you are. find a support group for families of addicts. there are many others in the same situation, and it helps to be in a community of people who can stand with you.
i’m praying for you and your husband. seek the LORD, in the Word and in prayer. when we ask for wisdom, He gives it to us. God bless you.
My wife has been battling addiction for years/decades now and I’m at the end of my rope. We have one child still at home (9 years old). Rehab and support are not working and she doesn’t want to quit. Her attempts are half hearted and she knows best (we know nothing) she got her first sponsor after 40 years. She’s lucky the weather is freezing or she’d be out. Her dream is to use and carry on a normal life. My dream is that upon waking tomorrow she’ll be gone. My poor poor wife and children. My knuckles never heal because for the past 2 years i constantly pick at them. The nerves are shot the heart is broken.
She steals from everyone. She prostitutes. She gets credit cards and maxes them out… need i go on? Her saving grace? She gets her humanity from our daughter who is her security blanket when she’s using, They hold each other and cry. She holds me with emotional black mail.
she was manic when we first met. later we got a proper diagnosis schizo effective disorder. the symptoms are either from long drug use or a brain disorder but who knows now? I’m dying slowly from nerves/stress and the 9 year old is in need of protection.
This site has been helpful to us in many ways!! Our prayers go out to everyone.
Ottawa: if you happen to get back on anytime soon, I am looking for more information on flushing the body and foods that help?? Any web sites for programs that can help us??
Phoenix: We are praying for you and your husband, thank you so much for the book reference, we are looking into the natural supplements to boost the chemical imbalance – In all of the recovery programs, very little has been done to address the chemical imbalance issue for the recovering addict.
We have faith that this addiction can be overcome if you have the right support and tools to make it happen.
Thanks for all of your openness.
Hi – I just wanted to correct something in my story, we both started drinking together – it started with limiting ourselves to 1 glass of wine with dinner, then progressed from there…
I wanted us to stop drinking, but he did not, well he tried a couple of times, but compromise always kept creeping in… Well just wanted you to all know I was not perfect in this whole thing, have my issues but more than prepared to work on them!!! Bye all, My heart goes out to everyone fighting this drug of satan, God is King at the end of the day, and we all need to walk in victory whether it be alone or with our spouse!!!
Hello All. I decided to read a few posts today. It’s the same heart breaking story over and over again. I read with interest about alcohol abuse as well. Alcohol would trigger the crack cocaine desire. With my ex, if he drank, he would ultimately end up leaving to get crack to get higher and higher, I guess.
To Maybe: I read your story and I feel for you. You see, my ex wanted to get married, too. He would push and push but something would always happen and we never did. You say God doesn’t like divorce. But, you see, I thought it was God that kept bringing my ex back. I would get him away from me but then a month, weeks down the road, here he would come and I couldn’t turn him away. God gives us free-will to “choose” what we do in life. God gives us a brain and a sense of fear. I kept thinking God wanted me to be with this man because he kept bringing him back to my doorstep. I was so much in love with him, too, that I’d let him back in. I wanted to help him. I wanted him better so bad. But it became so dangerous and I was in such a mental state, I knew God didn’t want this for me. I prayed to God if he would just get me out of that situation one more time, I would never look back. God answered my prayer. He got me out!! I’m not looking back. God did not want me with that man. He was trying to teach me lessons in life, I guess. I kept asking God, why do you keep bringing him back to me? You know my weakness and my soft heart, why, why? But through it all, he did protect me and blessed me. I’m happy and secure now. I’m not saying you should abandon your husband but don’t let him destroy your life. God doesn’t want that for you. Believe me…he knows your heart…your kind loving soul…your weaknesses…he doesn’t want you to be unhappy or abused.
take care all…
I hava a daughter that has been on crack for almost two years now.Her husband divorced her due to it and she and her 4 small children moved in with me.And I had many nights up crying wondering where she was if she was o.k.
June of 2008 she and her children got there own place and I thought she was doing go and the police called me one day to tell me the children was left at home along and did I want them before he sent them to child services.I was very upset and said ofcourse. When I arrived she was on the phone with one of the policemen. she was telling them she was out looking for a job and had left them with a sitter.Both statements was false.She once again was on crack. i put her in rehab and they was to keep her atleast two weeks.She was out in 2 days and disappearing again.And up until last Saturday I thought I had finally could quit worrying.But Friday night she disappeared again and I was called saturday morning that she had been in a accident. She had been up all night smoking crack and had fallen asleep while driving and hit to mail boxes.I got to the accident and the policeman said she had been taken to the hospital but was fine .He said she appeared on drugs but didn’t know what I imformed him crack could he please arrest her before she dies He said he wish he could but he didn’t have a dc officer to sent to the hospital to test her.She lucked out. and once again she says she will never do it again. How can i stop her before it is to late.please help me I’m lost what needs to happen?
Hi all I have been clean for almost 7 yrs. now and I still get the urge.I am 41yrs. old,happily married,4 kids with another 1 on the way.I honstely dont think I have as you may think a trigger but even after almost 7 yrs. I also have the same dreams that most of you speak of I am an active member at church and I am a new christian I just dont know what to think about the dreams.I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am not going down that road again,I got to much to loose.But it can sure be hard as hell to stay focused because my wife knows of my past,I didnt hide nothing from her.I know that God brought her into my life and my life did a 160 degree turn around,all credit goes to Him.Now what I want to know is what do I do about the dreams.They are so real.
Reply to Eric: Eric, I truly believe the dreams are of the devil. I’m sorry but I must say that. And praise God you’ve been strong and stayed strong for you, your family. That’s amazing and I honor and respect you.
My ex would say the crack would “call” him. I’ve heard other addicts use this same word. Believe me, it’s a “call” from the devil. That’s his way of luring you back. The dreams are so real because the devil is real!
In your dreams, since your mind is strong, take another direction. We can control our dreams. When the dream comes again, replace it quickly with an innocent image of your children, your family, their love and need for you…and I do believe the devil will stop coming in your dreams. Turn it around. I know you can do it. Let me know if it works for you. I’ll be praying it does.
I am in the middle of a living nightmare. I knew that my husband was a recovering addict when we met 9 years ago. I to am in recovery. We shared three and a half years together, sober. We had a baby. When the baby was one and a half he picked up, disappeared and was gone for 5 days. Never even tried to call. He went to rehab and was there for five weeks. He came home and told me all these stories of being held up in a hotel room paranoid. I believed this. We had another child and then once again, three and a half years later he picked up. I told him he had to leave. He continued to use for two months, periodically coming home to try to see the kids. I came to know that he was using several credit cards and spent about 40,000 dollars. Another rehab, and sober house. He came home just before thanksgiving and on Jan. of this year, he was off and running again. 27,000 later, he was broke. During this time his phone was connected to a prostitutes and all his lies came into the light. He went back to rehab and currently lives in a sober house. He does see the kids, and I guess that’s good. He says he found God and that he has changed. It has been 8weeks that he is clean. He is finding all these organizations to help him clean up his debt and he is on a pink cloud. I’m happy he isn’t using for today. However, the damage that this drug has done to our family is tremendous. I believe in God, I am a recovering also, however, I had no experience in dealing with crack cocaine. The education that I have received over the years is mind blowing. I feel spriitually bankrupt. I pray, try to help others and stay focused on me and the children. This is not an easy life to live. On a good day, I can breathe and enjoy, on a bad day I feel like my mind is contaminated. I wonder what it will take before I can feel whole again. I need someone to show me how to save my own life. I have filed for divorce but this just makes him more determined to show me that he has changed. Any thoughts?
what organizations?
Maybe: Ever thought about just separating rather than divorcing him?
a hard thing to suggest since i do not know him. (you did the right thing, by separating period.)
the reason I say this is, he might well have changed. but I see why you still want to divorce him, as it has only been eight weeks…
as a Christian, i would say: Pray for him: that’s the best thing. i got saved two years ago, and it was the best thing i could have done. many good folks try to kick addiction; but w/o the Lord’s power it’s almost impossible (If he is indeed saved he knows this!).
you said he was saved, years ago; if so, praise God. but, he needs to come back to God. otherwise, he’ll just continue to ruin his life….
word of encouragement..No offense to him; but you were right to leave him, after he’d smoked crack (that’s the only thing that’ll help him)
God bless both of you!
Maybe: It’s me again; BIG correction: i said, “He needs to come back to God.” Whoops! meant to say (I hope you’ll forgive me for the first post; it sounds SO judgmental in that respect) that he needs to keep on the path he’s on. Praise God he’s back with Christ.
I’m sorry I said it wrong the first time. Also I wanted to say if he starts using this time (for his sake I hope that he won’t), you wouldn’t be condemned for requesting a divorce. as mentioned earlier, the best thing to do is lift him up to the Lord. the Lord sees the best in Him, and is rejoicing w/you and him that he is now clean.
also agree with Cara Michele that (PERHAPS!) counseling &/or an intake eval. may be in order..not saying he is mentally ill but at this point I wouldn’t rule it out.
also counseling could help you too.
Well as I read everyones responces it just breaks my heart because I am pretty much going threw the same thing and have been for the last 7 years. My fiance is a crack addict and has been for about 15 years he is 27 years old nad his cousin and “bestfriend” was the one who first had him try it when he was going threw a really hard time in his life and was weak and fell for it and ever sence he has no been able to stop. These past 7 years we have been together he has tried EVERYTHING…rehab,meetings,he has even went to jail he just recently spent 2 years in jail for robbing a house to of course get his fix. we have a 3 year old daughter who lives him very much but he has missed so much of her lives he got sent away a week before her 2nd birthday and missed every holiday and birthday after that. he was recently released in january and while he was away myself and his father did EVERYTHING for him sent him money pictures i would always go visit him talk to him on the phone all the time than he comes home and PROMISED
he was going to stay clean but of course that didnt happen. He had failed a urine and instead of his parole officer violating him he put him on the braclet where he could leave @ 5am to goto work and be home by 9pm of course last friday and saturday he stayed home both nights till 9 and went out AFTER 9 than he went to see his po on thursday and he violates him because he wasnt going to his IOP meetings and was just being a asshole. so now he has to finish out his sentance which is only 75 more days but still I have been going threw this for 7 years and now its effecting my daughter because she misses him SO much and did I mention i was prego AGAIN. Now when he was away the 1st time I got fucked up on herion and I was getting myself clean I got on the meth clinic and i’ve been doing REALLY good but ever since he found out hes been calling me a junkie and this and that and doesnt think that by him going out is bad but me doing it is the end of the world because I was always the “strong” one well when u leave someone alone for 2 years to raise a child and deal with the everyday stresses i broke down. So now he just calls me and says the whole im sorry i love u i dont want to live like this anymore i want to change blah blah but i am sticking to my guns and telling him i dont belive him anymore that whatever he says to me just doesnt even ring truth to my ears anymore. Everyone keeps asking why I stay with this guy and to be honest I dont know I truley do love him with all of my heart and when he does stay clean he is wonderful someone I can see myself with forever but I just cant stand the drugs and i know by me saying that is sounding hypacritical right now because of what I did but what he doestn understand is crack has consumed our relationship for 7 years and now I have a problem which I AM getting help for and im the bad one I goto my meethings everyday I take my meds everyday I WANT to get clean. and he had said to me right before he went away “hes tried rehab meetings jail everythign and nothing has made him change so he doesnt think he ever wil so why cant i just accept it” what am i suppose to think? now while hes in jail this time I am not sending him a DIME I am not changing my phone back to my old phone company so he can call me I sent him a letter telling him how I felt and where I stood and that is pretty much where I am gunna stand right now. ugh so my point is I dont think ive ever met a crackhead who has stoped my counsler told me that she has seen many herion addicts get clean and never touch a drug again but she has has maybe seen a handful of crack heads get clean and STAY CLEAN i mean it is possible b/c she did it and has been clean for 13 years but even my best frineds mom is 48 years old and still smoking that shit so everyone on here I wish nothing but the best for all of u and the pople who are helping there loved ones fight this sickness my heart goes out to you because i know what its like and its not pretty there is ALWAYS disapointment somewhere along the line. and please just remember one thing you have to put urself and ur kids first if they dont want to get clean nothing will make them not rehab not treatment NOTHING it has to be ALL on them 150% they have to want it and continue to want it they have to be strong enough to fight there demons. Good luck to all.
The 7 stages of crack cocaine: You are so right and I have literally lived that live in the past for a period of 5 years. My life was so unmanagable from the use of drugs and I lost everything “but” my life. But, eventuallt I would have lost that. You know they talk about when using that we would eventually end up in jails, instituations or death. And you know what they were right! I finally surrendered to the disease of addiction 3 years ago and my life has changed for the better. I love myself and others, I have restored relationships with family, I have a network of friends, I activately go to NA and I have a sponsor who I call on a daily basis. It’s not easy to quit drugs without help and it’s a slow process and alot of hard work. No Pain, No Gain! The gain is to have freedom and find a NEW way to live. Life after all is great!!!!!!!!!
Why is there so much crap on here about jesus and how he’ll “save” you from crack? Let’s get real, if we were talking about cocaine hcl here, it wouldn’t be a problem, especially if it were rich people using it. But ooh, if it’s crack the devil sent it here to kill us all! oh no! The only reason it “ruins” people’s lives is because of government regulations causing crack prices to be 10 times what they should be, depleting people’s pockets, and also the stigma that goes with it. Nobody ever makes an article on the 7 stages of alcohol, and here’s why: it makes big businesses rich. Crack makes poor black people rich, so let’s put an article out about it to keep them in their place.
I do think this is somewhat overstated – maybe for many people significantly overstated (sort of like the cannabis propaganda) – so people will tend to ignore what in fact can be a real problem for certain people in particular and most people to some extent.
The biggest problem is that most of those for whom it is a huge problem don’t have a lot else going on in their lives… whether it is a healthy religion (most Evangelicalism/Fundamentalism is not very healthy – Jesus Himself however is definitely healthy!) – or activities such as sports (including dancing) or politics or all of the above. And the people they hang out with similarly have absolutely nothing going on in their lives – and they are centered around the experience they get as a result of this substance.
Also – please don’t overdose – that really hurts your body – and your body is all you have – DON’T HURT YOUR BODY!!!!
Best,
Human
Hi everyone. I’m back again. I first wrote because I was completely devastated by my husbands crack addiction. I filed for divorce. He was 8 weeks clean and then, once again, smoking. I hired a new attorney and got temporary orders. I now have sole custody of our two children. I have tried to come to terms with this addiction and the power it has over the person using, however, every day it seems that my husband, now 50 days clean, feels that he should have everything back. It is simply amazing to me. He has support in AA and the people who have known him for over 20 years, and watched all of his actions, have supplied him with a place to stay, getting him out of a sober house, laptops, job opportunities and comfort. The disturbing part is that as a woman in recovery too, I feel that I struggle more than he has trying to work full time, counseling for myself and kids, finances, etc. My husbands sponsor is currently starting a business with him. This is disturbing, he is a man that currently has a business being taken away from him, a family that he cant support, and no consequences! In walks a sponsor and supplies him with comfort and an opportunity to start another business with only 50 days sober. This is maddening. I have 10 years clean and sober and I struggle. I work hard at maintaining my own spiritual condition, however, everyday is difficult. I try to turn my will and life over to the care of God and know that all is perfect order. I pray but still feel lost. Any suggestions. Thanks for the last response. My husband has found God but it all sounds like the stuff I’ve heard before. I do believe that he has a personality disorder or mental illness of some kind but i dont think that he will ever look at that. Thanks to all of you. God Bless and Godspeed.
jo
Hi Good morning all. I just wanted to write in and get some feedback. I wrote a couple of days ago and discussed some things that were going on with my husband. The most difficult part for me is the children, 7 and 4. I have sole custody and we agreed to 2 days supervised visitation. Even seeing him is difficult. I feel that he always trying to manipulate me. Its exhausting. We have a date for divorce, and even that is too much to bear. My children are constantly fighting, and yelling and they believe that I am the reason for all of this. When they see their father, he is the best and only thing. I understand what is happening intellectually, however, emotionally, its another story. I really believe that my husband has a personality disorder as he feels no remorse that seems genuine. He bounces back and it seems that people in AA continue to enable him. I am in AA too and this walk is difficult. I’m trying to keep it simple and pray… I don’t want to be manipulated again by my husband and live a life of damage and loss. I ask myself if I willever be whole again.
“We, too, were lonely and frustrated, but in Al-Anon we discover that no situation is really hopeless and that it is possible for us to find contentment, and even happiness, whether the alcoholic is still drinking or not.” (From the Al-Anon meeting welcome.) You can also substitute “addict” for “alcoholic” in that sentence. There are people in Al-Anon who understand what you’re going through and can share their experience, strength and hope — with unconditional love. There are people who go to both AA and Al-Anon, because they are affected by the addictions of others, as well as their own. I’m praying for you right now, Joanne. There is hope.
Hi
thanks for your response. I am currently attending Al-Anon and I guess that it is a process too. I am still baffled by many things. My head and heart are still trying to catch up with each other on a daily basis. I’m glad there are people out there who understand. Thank you
I been smoking crack and weed together… For about 14 years am 29 now but nothing has really change… All the girls I had I lost because of crack… I need to stop but how
my boyfriend of 2 years use to have a crack problem before i ever met him after about 6 months of our relationship he used again and secretly was using for a while. well as of feb. of 09 he started using again more regularly. he was going through a couple different things that he was unable to cope with and used to get away. i try everything to get him to talk to me about things instead of going and using but i feel like its not enough he has so much to lose and he knows it. he hates doing the drug but cant stop. me as a non addict of course will never be able to fully understand what he is going through but i have read up on the addiction and no longer know what i can do to help. he leaves directly from work to go do this and doesnt call, answer his phone, or even let me know whats going on. then he will come home between 3 and 7 in the morning and tell me he smoked and was sleeping in his car. i have had to go to the extent of holding his debit cards so he could not use them. he gives them to me willingly and finds a way to steal them back though. he has changed so much in the last month its insane. after his last use on saturday night he decided that he cant keep doing this, which he says everytime. we got on the internet and found a crack support group in our area they are holding a meeting tonight and i will be joining him to the meeting for emotional support! i am hoping this is the first step to a new life. does anyone have any other suggestions? i dont want to leave him i feel like he needs me now more then ever, i just need help trying to help him.
Hello again. I am constantly baffled dealing with my husband that is 80 days clean. He demonstrates limited remorse and expects that I should just allow him to see the children when ever he wants,without supervision. We have temporary orders agreeing to 2 days supervised. I feel like I cant explain this to him. I believe in God and I am on a spiritual journey too, but I feel that he is not trustworthy yet. Every time that I have allowed him to see his kids all the time, he ended up high again. Is there no end to this. Does anyone with a crack addiction stay clean?
My son is 17 yrs old. He has smoked crack twice a week for 2 months, untill I got to realice He was doing that. Where are we now? what should we do? what are our chances?
Also what is the difference between effects crack and effects of cocaine? Thank you