GPD on Segways: Losing cool points
posted: July 23, 2008 | category: community
tags: news, police
When I found out from friends at GPD that developer Roy Caroll was donating two Segways to the CCRT (downtown bike cops), I had to laugh. And I promised to make fun of them when they got their Segways. Actually, I didn’t wait. I went ahead and teased them about it right then. (Their responses were very amusing, but our usual protocol is that I don’t blog our conversations.)
The Segways have since arrived, and city officials announced the donation at a press conference today, where Officer Ryan Todd showed off the Segway’s moves to reporters. From what I hear, that public enthusiasm is for real. Ryan apparently really likes cruising around on the Segway. But even Ryan can’t make that thing look cool.
I’ve been reading what some other bloggers have to say about cops and Segways, and DCist, in “Cops on Segways: Hilarious or helpful?,” sums it up well:
“Washington has had a love-hate relationship with the Segway for some time now. Certainly, they are useful modes of transportation — who among us begrudges the UPS man, or even the tourists, from trying to zip around our city’s streets in a more efficient manner? But at the same time, pretty much no matter what you do, if you’re riding one, you look like a douchebag*…”
DCist also muses on where Segways fall on the “Embarassment Scale,” and on whether Segway cops are more or less geeky than bike cops. I can answer that: Hands down, no contest: Bike cops are cooler. (Although at GPD, it’ll be the bike cops who ride the Segways. Most of the time, I think.)
On the Cop Coolness Scale, I think it goes like this:
Epic cool: cops on Harleys
Way cool: cops in squad cars
So cool: cops in unmarked cars
Real cool: cops on horses
Definitely cool: cops on bikes
Still cool: cops walking a beat
And then….
So not cool: cops on Segways
Sorry, Ryan. And the rest of you CCRTs, who have to ride one. But I’m serious about bringing the Hello Kitty stickers and glitter and pimping those Segways out, y’all. Let’s do it. 
*I apologize if DCist’s descriptive language offends any of my readers. But when I read it aloud, the people with me all cracked up laughing (as I had) and we agreed it was pretty much spot-on, so I used it.
Comments
2 Responses to “GPD on Segways: Losing cool points”
Leave a Reply
Wow, you just inspired a poem
Lovin’ It !! Bet those cops are having a ball and fighting over who gets to ride them. BB